“But the Bible Says…”: Every argument you have against gay marriage is moronic and stupid (part 1)

So gay marriage is pretty much becoming a thing in the United States. The Supreme Court of the United States will hopefully make a final decision at the end of April 2015. It’s already legal in 37 states. As news arrives for each state that has succumbed to the “gay agenda” (whatever the fuck that is) the blogosphere erupts in a shit storm of posts for and against. This article is titled “part 1” because there is just soooooo much bullshit out there that I couldn’t possibly include it all in one essay.

Let us begin with the one that pisses me off the most: “But the Bible says…”

When I read a comment on any forum, I first scan for the words: God, Jesus, Bible, Our Lord Savior, His (with a capital h). If I see any of these mentioned as a fact in a post I immediately dismiss the person as a stupid asshole. A common example of this stupidity is, “I’m against it because the Bible states that marriage is between a man and a woman.”

….except that IT DOESN’T!

Here’s a thought. Why don’t you read the goddamn book you’re always thumping. Nowhere does Jesus turn to his followers and say, “Let it be known that marriage is only between a man and a woman.” In fact, Jesus never even mentioned homosexuality. You know what he did mention a lot of? All that liberal shit about loving your neighbor as you love yourself, helping the poor, judge not lest ye be judged….you know…the shit that gets tossed out the window any time a Bible-thumping Republican talks about immigration, foreign aid, welfare, or gay marriage.

Let’s just pretend for a minute that Jesus DID specifically say to his 12 bros and favorite fag hag, “Homosexuality is wrong and my other dad is going to cast them into the pits of Hell to burn for an eternity”. You mentioning that to me as fact equates to me saying something like, “My Fairy Godmother says that you being a bitch and making shit up is wrong; therefore, she will cast you into a pit of glitter and grind your fucking face in it for eternity.” Now, if I say that with faith and conviction does it make it real for you? Probably not. Just as your faith and conviction in whatever you believe does not make it real for me. The point being, just because you believe something strongly does not make it a fact that public policy should be based upon.

I’m not saying that you can’t believe what you want. It is your American right to believe whatever bullshit you wish. However, your belief in that bullshit should not govern the lives of others, and it absolutely has no place in our government.

/endfirstrant