Every Argument You Have Against Better Gun Control Is Stupid

Disclaimer: This is a living post, that I will continue to update as I encounter more stupidity on the topic. 

Guess what season it is. It’s mass shooting season! That’s right. It’s been how many months since our last mass shooting to hit the news? And as always, social media erupts in a shit storm between people thinking, ‘Hmm maybe we have a fucking problem’ versus people who absolutely will not allow any reason to enter their heads when it comes to being more responsible about how guns are sold in the US. It really blows my fucking mind how people willfully ignore reason and cling to an object that serves ZERO purpose other than to harm life. I don’t think it’s possible to round up all the guns in the country the way Donald Trump would round up illegal immigrants, but I do think we could pull our heads out of our asses and figure out a way to make mass murder less opportunistic.

But, that’s never going to happen. We can’t make any progress on the issue of gun violence in this country because the amount of stupidity that we have to reason with is so draining that we just give up and quit the discussion until the next mass shooting hits the media. It’s like those shitty contestants on American Idol who think they’re amazing and argue with the judges. There’s no reasoning with them, and they’ve built a bubble around themselves to prevent any helpful logic from sinking in. It’s the same with the gun debate. You can’t even get to a real discussion because you’re too busy trying to make dumb fucks see why they’re dumb as fuck on this topic. So, I think I’m just going to write all their stupid arguments in one place (here), and then copy/paste this link for future discussions. I’ll even number it, so we can easily tell dumb fucks what line item to reference in the link.

So, without further ado…

1. Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.
Oh yes, because all mass shootings involve an asshole running around pointing his finger at people screaming PEW PEW PEW before pointing his finger to his own head and ending his life. Maybe math could help with this one. Think of the following equation:

A + B = C
Where A equals people, B equals guns, and C equals mass shootings. 

Do you get C when you remove either A or B? No? Then shut the fuck up with this oversimplified statement that does not speak to the issue.

A word of caution to my fellow rational thinking friends out there who try to have intelligent conversations about guns; beware of using this simple equation to prove your point, because it will most likely lead you to the next stupid argument…

2. If people want to kill, they’re just going to find a way to kill others regardless.
Oh, well fuck it, let’s just put bombs, grenades, and missiles on the market then. I mean killers gonna kill anyways, right? No shit, a gun nut said that missiles were illegal because they could wipe out a large amount of people. You mean…the government thought it was a bad idea to just let any asshole on the street purchase something that could easily kill a large amount of people, and made it illegal?!

A lot of people like to bring up terrorists such as the ones from 9/11, and Timothy McVeigh. “They didn’t use guns!”. I’ll do the work for you, and grab some stats:

Any guesses as to why the death from terrorism in the past 44 years is less than half the number of deaths by guns in the year 2015 alone? Could it be that one is easier and more accessible than the other?




You might hear about how a knife or a car can be more deadly. Yeah, ok. That’s why there has been so many mass knifings, and people driving their cars through the hallways of schools to run over school children.

3. A pressure cooker was used in the Boston Marathon bombing, why don’t we regulate pressure cookers?
Maybe when pressure cookers kill over 30,000 Americans each year, we can begin to take a serious look at regulating them. And if you pulled your head out of your ass and thought about it, the Tsarnaev brothers could have killed way more people if they started unloading rounds into the crowd rather than using a set it and forget it pressure cooker.

4. In the UK, where guns are banned, violent crimes are more common than in America.
Naturally my bullshit meter piqued when I saw this and admittedly I had to do some research. The UK has the collective personality of a goddamn Tree Ent from Lord of the Rings, and yet these right wing dipshits in the US spew “facts” about how the UK’s streets are pretty much a reenactment of The Cornucopia Bloodbath. And on the surface, it would appear they’re right, that is, until you read the difference between how the UK defines violent crime and the US defines it:

United Kingdom:

“Violent crime contains a wide range of offences, from minor assaults such as pushing and shoving that result in no physical harm through to serious incidents of wounding and murder. Around a half of violent incidents identified by both BCS and police statistics involve no injury to the victim.”(THOSB – CEW, page 17, paragraph 1.)

United States:

“In the FBI’s Uniform Crime Reporting (UCR) Program, violent crime is composed of four offenses: murder and nonnegligent manslaughter, forcible rape, robbery, and aggravated assault. Violent crimes are defined in the UCR Program as those offenses which involve force or threat of force.”  (FBI – CUS – Violent Crime)

No shit, the UK is including pushing and shoving as violent crime and that’s being compared to things like murder, rape, and manslaughter in the US by the right wing.

Note: Thank you to this blogger for doing the research on this, and listing the sources. 

5. But cars kill more people. Should we ban cars?
First of all. I have to go through way more shit to ensure I’m a safe driver and obtain a license than a redneck asshole does to get a gun in the south. Secondly, cars offer a utility that helps our society thrive. What do guns offer exactly? (Hold that thought gun nut. I’ll address that in the next bullet.)

You might hear about how cars kill more people than guns do. Yeah, no shit. They’re called car accidents. And so what? That’s a problem too that requires its own solution, and has nothing to do with the discussion of gun violence. Some of us have the capacity to understand there are multiple problems existing in the world, and not having an immediate solution for one doesn’t preclude us from coming up with a solution for the other.

6. We need guns to protect ourselves from the criminals who get them illegally.
I think our society can be a tad bit more sophisticated and not have to arm every citizen against its own citizens. If I want to live in a place where I have to worry about defending myself every time I walk out into the street, I’ll move to the West Bank. Furthermore, based on this study by the Violence Policy Center, for every one “justifiable homicide” there are 34 criminal homicides, 78 suicides, and 2 accidental deaths in 2012,s o you’re much more likely to fuck up and hurt someone by having a gun in your home than actually needing a gun for self defense.

“I don’t want to live where only the criminals own the guns.” Oh, but wait. Weren’t you arguing about how much deadlier knives and pressure cookers were earlier. You’re not defenseless. Shank that bitch. You’ll win every time!

Sarcasm aside, most people don’t think it is practical to ban all guns. Most people who argue for gun control want responsibility on the part of the sellers, and yet it’s being made out like we’re asking to arm criminals and handicap law abiding murkins.

7. It’s my right!
Here’s the exact wording of the Second Amendment (I’m not even going to get into the historical context in which it was written vs today’s context).

“A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

Soooooo, did the words ‘well regulated’ get blasted out of the Constitution from a nearby shooting? Would our forefathers really take issue with us being more responsible in how we sell guns?

8. The real issue is mental illness.
I agree wholeheartedly that mental illness is completely ignored in this country, and we are drastically ignorant and intolerant of it. However, let’s make sure the patient is released from the hospital early due to lack of insurance, treated like an outcast, jumps through hoops to get helpful prescriptions, oh and by the way, who gives a fuck if we sell them a gun. Maybe it might be worth making guns less accessible to them until we have a grasp on how to take care of people with mental illness? Is it really THAT unreasonable to deny people with histories of violence and mental illness the right to buy a gun?

I also love how the conservatives are suddenly concerned about the well being of the mentally ill when they continually want to shit on the “takers”, repeal The Affordable Care Act, and defund any program that might actually help people who are mentally ill.

So, that’s my list for now. Feel free to leave a comment if you have any other stupid arguments against gun control you want me to write about. I’ve only scratched the surface, but I need to take a break.